Heal the wound but leave the scar

It's been an emotional but wonderful last couple of days for me. A random girl's day with my mom and by childhood and longtime best buddy turned out to be a wake up call from the holy spirit.

I know who I am, I know who I've been, and I know I'm ever changing and trying to line my life up with the woman God wants me to be. But it's easy to forget how wretched I was. It's easy to forget how much grace has been gifted to me. It's so easy to forget because I am surrounded by people that love me, and that appreciate me, and that tell me how wonderful I am, which is great! But at the same time, if I lose sight of who I was without Christ, and forget that who I am and who you see me as is not me at all- but Christ himself - then what have I learned from it all?

I believe God allows us to go through things and to do things for a reason, and it became exceedingly clear to me after a wonderful talk with my mom and a few verses she shared with me.

2 Corinthians 12:6-10
"Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassing great revelations. Therefore in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

God is sovereign over every aspect of my life. While he did not cause me to do the horrible things I've done, it is for his Glory that He chooses to forgive me for those things, and in such mercy and grace, His power is revealed. I have been forgiven, so I do not carry the guilt, or the pain, or the shame of any of my sins. But if I forget those things, what have I learned? Not only do I forget who I am when I'm acting out the selfish desires of 'my life', but I also forget who He is and the magnitude of what he's done for me.

I have allowed myself to sweep my past mistakes under the rug, and honestly, I haven't done it purposefully or in any way to 'hide' what I've done. But like I said, it's so easy to forget when you're loving and enjoying the life God has given you, that the cost and the path to this happiness gets lost. There is a beautiful song by Point of Grace called "heal the wound but leave the scar". The lyrics have new meaning for me know, because every time I've sung this song I honestly think of other people - which is strange - but for a singer who tries to fill each song with purpose and meaning, it's what I do sometimes to be sure the song has emotion and the message is portrayed. This is probably because I have always thought that my testimony of salvation wasn't 'interesting' enough. That I could bring more emotion to the song when I take the amazing testimony of my mom and think of how much God brought her through and how many people she has been able to touch and council simply because of the 'thorns' God has placed in her life! And how beautifully and majestically God is Glorified when she shares her testimony to people who only see her gifts, her talents and her beautiful family - that God has redeemed her from so much, and that no one is perfect, save Christ.

I haven't allowed myself to have a beautiful testimony, because it has been easier to just accept the forgiveness and forget about the purpose of the thorns and scars. It was easier to put on the missions application and to tell our pastor that, "Well, I've always known Jesus, but haven't always followed Him, but now I'm back on track." But that isn't what my past was intended for. That wasn't the purpose of God allowing me to fall into temptation and wallow in a selfish, pleasure-seeking world for so many years. That wasn't why he has changed my heart and allowed me to experience the amazing feeling of forgiveness, freedom from the bondage of guilt and shame, of unconditional love and restoration - only to keep my mouth shut!

So many of you have seen me or have known me at my worst. You have heard me say things or seen me do things that make it impossible to understand why I am who I am today - or maybe you think I'm being fake. But on the other hand, so many of you have never seen me at my worst, and have only seen my best. You may think I've always been 'good' and never made mistakes, that I've never felt worthless and disgusting, that I've never sold my body to sin, that I've never hated myself and been too ashamed to even look in the mirror; that I've never struggled with temptation, that my family is perfect and untouched from sorrow, that I've never had doubts, or wondered if I was even worth saving - if I could ever be useful to a God I had ignored, slandered, betrayed, made a mockery of, completely abandoned...

But I have. You may or may not see me either of these ways. But if you do, know this. I am NOT perfect. I am NOT faking. I have NOT ever been 'good'. I have NOT forgotten that I may have gossiped about you, that I may have ignored you or hurt your feelings, that you have seen me drunk, that I was a 'tease' and 'boy crazy', that I used to cuss like a sailor while going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays. I have NOT forgotten who I was, and who I still am without Christ in my life. But I have been forgiven for those things. I have been freed from the guilt and shame when I look backward, which has allowed me to love and to serve and to live in a way that I can move forward without chains to weigh me down.  I still don't know all the answers, I still mess up, but God has changed my heart. I don't want to just 'Go through the motions', and I don't want to forget where God pulled me from - because if I do, than he is so much less glorified through my life, and the last 25 years have all been for naught.

I am free. I am loved. I am forgiven, but these thorns are here on purpose - to remind me of who I am when I take the reigns from Jesus and how much I need him to lead me. To show you how MUCH God can forgive you and how BEAUTIFUL he can make your heart if you allow him to. How incredible it feels to look at a horrendous act of sin and not feel one ounce of shame because that is NOT who I am anymore. That no matter what you've done and who you've been - God can restore you and you will be useful (trust me.. if he can use me, he can definitely use you!). Your life and your past cannot go wasted, either forgotten by forgiveness or tormented by guilt and shame, because if you stay in either of those places, you do not allow God to change you OR the people around you.

My testimony has a lot of embarrassing parts, and I will have to get used to saying them out loud. But I won't have to think about anyone else when I sing this incredible song. Because my life is beautiful, and it's only because of Christ. And when I show you how weak I am - I pray that you will see how strong our God truly is.

I love you all - and if I have ever wronged you or mislead you by my broken witness, shortcomings and failures, please forgive me. I am a work in progress, continually learning and being molded by our creator. Remember, it isn't what we do or don't do that saves us --- It is only Jesus.

"heal the wound" written and originally recorded by Point of Grace, recorded and sung live on this recording by Sally Lewis.

What Amazing Grace

I wanted to thank you all for the outpouring of love for our family over the last week. It has ministered to my Uncle, Aunt and cousins more than you could know. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a child under any circumstance.

Tommy Painted this a few years ago with his paint, his hands and a stick. He was a man of many talents!

Tommy was very special. If you were at the service last night, you couldn't have left without knowing just how special he was. I kicked myself and wish that I hadn't been so absent and far away the past 8 years- as I missed great opportunities to know him more. He was plagued and tormented by much, but as his parents said, he never blamed anyone but himself. He never complained and he always tried to make sure he wasn't causing anyone else pain by his actions- and it hurt him worst when he knew he had. He loved unconditionally and without judgement. He was incredibly smart and always well intentioned. But sometimes life holds on to you. Sometimes there are things that seem almost inescapable. The enemy rules these things purposefully, and uses them to keep us from living the life we are capable of in Christ.

But Tommy never stopped searching. He never stopped wanting to be better. And that is how I know that God had not abandoned this beautiful young man. For we do not love on our own account. We do not pursue goodness on our own. It is the call of God that compells us to search for righteousness. Pastor Randy spoke of countless times, good and bad, he had encountered Tommy at his church. To my great joy I learned of 2 mission trips he took to Louisianna after the hurricane. Randy said that Tommy poured his love and charisma on the people they were helping, and that it was a rare gift. But there were times when Randy had to be stern with Tommy, even asking him to leave the church if he was not 'well'. But Tommy, over the next few years, would come back and ask - "Can I be here?" and he would talk, and hug, and come back the next time he was free.

We do not search for God, for goodness, without the knowledge of Grace. I prayed that in all his searching, Tommy found Jesus. While speaking with Randy later, he was convinced at one point during Tommy's visits to Grace fellowship church that Tommy had sincerely made a decision to walk with Jesus. 2 weeks before the accident Randy had seen Tommy again, and noticed how well he looked, how healthy and that he noticed something he hadn't seen before. A light.

Early on Tuesday July 3rd, at the age of 21, Tommy and his friend were hit from behind in their car, run off the road, and hit trees. The car burst into flames and the 2 were killed instantly. Tommy had been through so much in his short life. While there were ups, there had been so many downs. My uncle, while he spoke at the service, was thankful that Tommy was taken at the height of an UP. That Tommy had been well, he had reconciled relationships with his siblings, and was not tormented by so many of the demons he had been fighting for so long.


I learned so much after hearing of Tommy's death. But mostly, I remebered Jesus' words in Luke 14:7 "In the same way, there will be more rejoiceing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."
and Pauls words in Romans 5:18-21
"Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of teh one man the many will be made righteous. The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin icreased, Grace increased all the more. so grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."


I will remember, forever, that Grace is a gift. And there is NO limit to God's Grace, forgiveness, mercy or love. That as the sheep of the Shepherd, our Lord will search out for any of us that strays, and will rejoice abundantly when His lost sheep is found and returned home. That the majesty and the miracle of Grace is so apparent when a life shows how much His Grace is needed. Tommy received Grace, and I am confident that he knew this beautiful gift was offered to him, freely. Praise God.


We sang Amazing Grace yesterday, and while I don't have a recording from the service, this is a recording of us singing it a couple of years ago. Facebook Video of "Grace"

Haiti - Last few days

a month later... :) ... sorry! It's been crazy the last few weeks!
So much has been going on; some wonderful, some sad, some expected, some unexpected - - but all beautifully woven into the tapestry of life God has given us here on earth. We have welcomed new life, and tomorrow we will be saying goodbye to a loved one. In the midst of our uncertainty and sorrow, or in the midst of excitment and elation, God is in control! Praise Him for his unfailing love and for the hope we find in Him.

Brandon will tell you in a couple days about his experiences chaperoning the youth and kids camps with Vineville. He had a wonderful time and was able to witness so many great things!

I didn't want to leave you hanging on the end of our Haiti trip, so I'll finish it out today. It's been a month since we were there, but it still feels like yesterday- so forgive my brain for leaving you out to dry! So here it is, the end of a beautiful trip, Goodbyes to beautiful landscapes and even more beautiful people.

Wednesday, June 6th, 2012

Today is bittersweet. It will be our last day with sister mario and Mr. mario's family in Gressier. tomorrow we will go to the beach in Jacmel and Friday we fly home.
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We visited the school again this morning. We did the Good samaritan skit. The kids, as usual were too sweet and sang almost every song with us. We prayed over the director and the school before we left, that God would use them to strengthen their community and to protect them and the children they serve.

We arrived at mario's house for the last day of work, greeted by Rodney's smiling face! (I recently learned that while you pronounce ODNE just like that...it is in fact spelled like RODNEY! who knew?) It was so wonderful to see him there. He is such a joyful person and he is more hardworking than most of us! Stevens and Bernie also joined us! We made fast friends with a little boy named Rijkad and a little girl named Senti. Rijkad, only 11, helped us all day too!
We ended up having to move 'sand' which was really more like a thick chalk dust, from one pile at the top of the mountain down to Mario's house for them to be able to use it for mortar. We had 6 buckets and spent the day in assembly lines passing full buckets down and empty ones back up. Many more helpers joined in as the day went on. Wilda and Junior came to visit and she ended up jumping in line! She is so wonderful, and I know God is planting a seed in her heart. She is smiling so much, and only God gives that kind of joy! Steevens was still in pain from his tooth today. We gave him more medicine and prayed for comfort.

It was very hot, as it was every day, but we all worked hard and talked and smiled with our new friends as much as possible, hanging on to every last moment we could. We played frisbee with them on our lunch break and had some AMAZINGLY delicious fresh mango - - which tasted better than any I've ever had in the states!
After a few more hours of bucket passing, we spent time hugging, taking photos, and saying our goodbyes to Mario's family and neighbors - our new family and friends. We prayed for them and asked God to bless their new house that it would be completed quickly and would be a strong foundation for them to build their lives upon. We rode off to smiles and tears and "Arevwa"s. We learned a new phrase - "Pachwen ane si Dye vle" which  means 'next year if God wills'.

Worship was great tonight. We were able to lead the songs again and had such a wonderful time worshipping together at the end of such an emotional day. A young man named David shared his testimony and really touched us all. From the outside, he was just a good looking, strong, 18 year old boy who didn't have any problems. But he shared with us the physical difficulties he has come through - even being in a wheel chair for 3 years - and the emotional pain it caused. He spoke about how alone he felt and that he was even agnostic for a while, blaming God, acknowledging his existence, but feeling trampled on. He shared that his youth minister, Chad, was always there for him, encouraging him. He told us that he found God's purpose for his life while coming on mission trips with their church - to serve - as he is now healed and is pretty much in perfect condition physically. I pray that as he goes to college he remembers his purpose, and remembers God's presence in his life through the hard times, and in the rebuilding of his body and of his spirit. He was an inspiration to many of us, though I'm sure he doesn't even realize it. Such a beautiful testimony and we all loved him more at the end of the evening for sharing his heart.

For more photos of Wednesday: Click Here

Wrapping it up - Thursday - Friday, June 7 - 8:

The beach was AMAZING. it was incredible to be in the blue Caribbean water ( a little polluted with seaweed, but still beautiful!) and turn around to to the shore and see the majestic Haitian mountains! We all got a little burned, but it was a wonderful day. Traveling to and from the beach we had to cross the mountains, so we got a ton of wonderful pictures! Such a beautiful countryside! On the way there, Almando got us some fresh bananas - straight from the tree! They were little and so sweet, YUM!




We had our last worship service and a send off from Pastor Sampson. We stayed up singing, and spending time with our friends and then packed our stuff up before heading to bed.





Friday morning started early, some of the group had to leave for the airport by 6am! We had more time than that, so we were able to get pictures with everyone and give out some last minute hugs. Kathryn was able to leave most of her stuff behind so she didn't have to lug it all back when she hopped back on the plane on Saturday. (She is still in Haiti and will be back at the end of the month! She is having an amazing time and I can't wait to hear all her stories!)

The flights were great, and we even met an evangelical pilot! He was a trip, and was inspirational with his excitement to talk about the gospel. Praying for Michael Harrison, American Airlines pilot and brother in Christ! As he said at the end of the flight, "See you in Heaven!"
We are grateful to be home safely, but are missing our friends and doing God's work in His beautiful country - Haiti. Thank you all for your prayers! It was an incredible experience and we hope to be back to work with our friends at Praying Pelican Missions in the future.

For more photos of Thursday and Friday: Click Here

On to the next step!

We covet your continued prayers and support for our training in Zambia in less than 2 months! If you'd like more information on the training program, visit www.overlandmissions.com/amt . I have been making some cookies for donations toward the program and our future in full-time missions, so please email me or facebook me if you'd like to help out in any way. We fly out on August 27th, so keep praying for strength, courage, and retaining all this knowledge we have been given in his Word so that we may effectively share it with the people of Zambia. We love you so much and thank each and every one of you for your love and support. We are just doing the best we can (which we know is filthy rags in comparison to Christ) to follow His Word and to stay in line with His Will for our lives. We are learning daily to endure the costs and sacrifices, to deal with the tough questions and the judgements from those around us. But know, that no matter what you, or we think is best for us, it is only God who knows. We pray that we have a strong faith to trust him with EVERY single aspect of our lives - not just the easy ones. We pray for you as well, that you would let go of control in areas of your life where you have been stealing the reigns and the Glory from God. Our lives are but a means to his Glory - in all that we are, in all that we say and in all that we do - may we bring Glory to God.

In His Love,
Sally

Haiti day 4 - the hardest work day

Pray for Brandon! He, Angela and Alice are chapperoning the youth camp this week! Tomorrow is his birthday...so I hope they're having fun!!! Pray for safety and for young minds and hearts to be molded :)

His absense does allow me some extra time to get things done, though! :) I realized when gathering my journal and everything to write this, that Tuesday in Haiti was such a difficult day, I only had 4 pictures from the school and none at the worksite! We worked so hard, and were so busy getting to know our wonderful helpers, that I forgot to bring out the camera! But there is good news in day 4, so even without actual footage from Tuesday, there are still stories to be told.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Today was difficult, but incredible. I can't believe we've only been here 3 days...but at the same time, I'm sad that we only have 2 full days left! I am going to miss the friends we've made and the hard work we have been doing. It will be interesting to see if we will make the same kind of connections when we travel to Africa as we have here. We have all loved this beautiful country and the people who serve here.

This morning adn work day was much like yesterday. While we were at the school, we met a man named Deacon Demitri. He makes and sells beautiful wood carvings. We found out that his family barely survived the earthquake. They lived in a duplex, and the family on the otherside of the wall was killed, while his family was spared. One of his daughters was greatly injured, but was healed after some time on a Mercy Ship. We also found out that his home was one of the first worksites PPM ever had in Haiti. Needless to say, he is a strong man of faith with great joy and gratitude, and loves the people from PPM

We arrived at Mario's house and greeted the family. After a few  words of encouragement and blessing from their pastor we began to move our first set of 100 blocks up the mountain. Due to our small numbers, it still took us 5 trips up the hill using our assembly line. Steevens, a young man from the neighborhood who helped us all day yesterday and today (again for reasons unknown to us), was in incredible pain. He had a very bad tooth ache and had to sit out a couple of turns. We all told him that he needed to rest, and gave him lots of water and some Ibeuprophin to ease the pain. I am so ready for my faith to be strengthened. My God is a God of healing... and I am so weak in faith that I couldn't bring myself to touch his precious, hurting face and give God an opportunity to show himself to Steevens. We still loved on him and cared for him, and of course prayed for him...but I know that God gives us power to do more for people than give them medicine sometimes. I continue to pray for Steevens, but also for the rest of us..that we will be open to the Spirit of God and will listen when he wants to use us for His Glory. I know I will experience much of this in Africa during our training and I am excited and terrified to see how mighty God truly is, and what incredible power and mercy He has for his people.

We got to know a very special person today. Wilda is 24 and has an 18 month old son named Junior. On Monday, we saw her peeking around corners, and watching us work. But today, she started talking to Cassie and ended up asking her where she went to church, she told Cassie that she had never been invited but wanted to go to church with her on Sunday. She also told Cassie that she had never accepted Christ.  We are all praying for Wilda, and can't wait to spend more time with her tomorrow.

We shared many things tonight in worship. Almando asked us to share someone we met that we wont forget and something we learned that we wont forget.  I shared that I would not forget the neighbors and members of Mario's family, especially Mario himself. For their hard work, for the kids/teenagers who helped us for no reason, and Phito and Odne who worked harder than all of us and encouraged us with their beautiful smiles. I shared that I would not forget what it means to care for others before yourself and that I will work to always think of another before me. We all shared and then got together to pray for those we've met and for eachother.

The breeze was so wonderful tonight. The dust was pushed out of the air and you could see so many stars. The power had gone out (generator...happened a few times) so it was pitch black. We all sat on the rof in the dark, taking in all the beauty of the night, and enjoyed spending some quiet time with eachother. I got to talk to Phito about his life, and we talked and laughed about how I had been singing wrong creole words (Like mixing up the word for LORD and REMEMBER...so i was singing Praise ye remember....hahah) and he shared with me how much he loves learning english.  He taught me more animals (Kabwit - Goat ; Chavel - horse ; bef - cow ; papillion - butterfly ; zandolit - lizard )

After a while, it was just Neil, Marisol and I out on the roof (from our group) and we stayed and watched the moon rise over the mountain. A sunrise is beautiful... but a moonrise is just breathtakeing. After soaking in the gloriousness of the stars, the moon and the cool breeze, we gathered ourselves and went to bed - Tomorrow is the last day in Gressier and we want to make sure we get everything done we possibly can.

Haiti - Day 3 - First 'work day'

the view from our project location in Gressier

Monday, June 4th, 2012:

Wow. I feel like I say that every time... but each day is so different and amazing!

Today started off with peanut butter and jelly (although there was no jelly left by the time I made my way to breakfast! I've gotta get up earlier!) We went to a school first. It was neat and organized and the children were so smart and precious. We started with 'Simon Di' or Simon says, led by Marisol Ortiz. She did the entire game in french, which the children understood perfectly! It was amazing to see the excitement on the kids faces that they could understand her without an interpreter. (Everyone in Haiti speaks Creole (their own form of language based on french) but schools teach French and most Hymns are in French!)


After the game, we did the skit for Paul and Silas. I read while Phito translated and the kids loved watching everyone act out the scenes! We even had a few tiny prisoners join us in the 'jail'! We sang a few songs, they loved 'Praise ye the lord' which is a stand up sit down song we do at most VBS here in the states, but we also sang a couple songs in Creole! They knew 'When the roll is called up yonder' and 'I'll fly away'. It was so much fun to sing with them in their language, and you could tell the kids (and even the teachers) were getting a kick out of us trying to speak creole. They also sang a song for us and we ended with a great time of prayer and blessing.


We moved on from there to the project work site. A home in the mountainous region of Gressier that had collapsed during the earthquake. 4 family members were in the house when it fell, but the tin roof did not collapse and ended up saving their lives. We learned later in the day that after the house had collapsed, sister Mario (the mother of the family) began to sweep the church every day as her offering and prayer to God because she said she knew he would give them a new home. She told us that when we came her prayer had been answered and that God had accepted her offering to His church and brought Praying Pelican Missions to deliver the gift of her new home. TOO cool.


When we arrived at the house (after walking straight uphill on a narrow path for at least 5 minutes) we saw sister Mario trying to 'clean up' the rubble that was left of her house. She was pulling grass and weeds from the broken rocks that used to be the foundations and walls of her home. I asked her, "Mwen ka ede ou?" which means, 'Can I help you?' as the cinder blocks had not yet been delivered for us to carry up the mountain. She smiled and said 'no no' but with gratitude and humility allowed us to help her pluck the weeds and grass from the the stones that, I can only imagine, mean such a great deal to her and her family. During the act of pulling these weeds from the rocks, Brandon was reminded of the parable of the sower that Jesus explained to his disciples (Matthew 13:1-23). This was an excellent focus for the task at hand, and reminded us that our faith should not be easily uprooted, like this grass that has grown among these rocks. I told Brandon that he should share that tonight at worship if we were given an opportunity. Cassie had asked our group to lead worship on Wednesday, so he thought he might just save it and do it then.


We labored on the weeds for a while and with broken creole, we mingled and attempted to get to know sister Mario's family and neighbors. We began separating the broken blocks and stones into piles (small or large) until our next job was ready. Bring on the sledgehammers! A man showed up and had sledgehammers! He was the foreman for demolition and we were his workers! There were still a few broken walls that were standing and these had to be knocked down in order for new walls to be built. Apparently he didn't want to share the hammers, and was trying to do most of the hard work on his own, but a couple of us started using rocks to break up the columns and walls and his heart was softened and he shared his tools and taught us how to work efficiently. (Isn't it neat to see God teach?) We knocked down the broken fragments of the Mario family's cinder block walls and carted them off into piles as well.


WE SAW A TARANTULA!!!!! Thankfully, I wasn't that close to the surprising find, and Mr. Mario stepped on it a few moments later, but we actually saw it! It wasn't as scary as I thought but I wasn't the one who found it hiding in my cinder block either! It looked more like a mouse than a spider, it was so big and hairy! I am so glad that I was able to witness this... as I know God is helping to prepare me for Africa and showing me little by little that I can handle these creatures and reminding me that they are His creation - and fear is not an option!



After lunch, the cinder blocks arrived... we had to carry them via assembly line about 100 yards straight uphill and winding around a mountain path. There were 10 of us, but luckily Phito (our brother and interpreter) joined in as did sister Mario's son, Manou. So the 12 of us moved 100 blocks, but it took us 5 assembly lines to get up to the house... so we passed each block 5 different times. OUCH! So it was like passing 500 cinder blocks uphill, with the heat, and in the sun!Craziness! About halfway up, a young boy (about 14) named Bernie joined our line and for no other reason but to help and maybe practice a little of the english he knew. I gave him one of my gloves and thanked him for helping us. He enjoyed asking little questions in english like "what is your name" and "where does your father live". His smile is beautiful and contagious and his spirit is sweet. We were so glad to have met Bernie and hope we will see him again tomorrow.


We returned back to Cote Plage in Carrefour to some wonderfully cold showers and some much needed rest before dinner and worship. (I actually ate and enjoyed dinner today because I didn't take the Doxycycline!) After dinner, Cassie asked our group if we could lead worship and possibly a devotion. We sang God of Wonders, Amazing Love, and Give us Clean Hands. Brandon was able to share his thought from earlier in the day about the weeds and rocks for the evening devotion and was able to tell the other groups about our experience of the day. (Isn't it cool how God gave us the opportunity to share that, when we weren't sure we'd have the chance?) It was an incredible time of worship and we ended up singing all night after the meeting.

Now it's time to get some sleep, because Cassie wants us to move 200 blocks tomorrow! I'm already sore from today (Praise ye the lord at the school killed my quads! who needs P90X? Just be on the Hallelu side and don't use a chair! haha) Lord, help our bodies heal and our spirits be willing, I pray our attitudes don't reflect the pain in our backs and arms, and that you will help us finish the task for the day so that we do not put the project behind. Thank you for an incredible day today, Amen.

Haiti - Day 2 - Worship and Playtime

Good Morning! I'm trying to get back in the habit of being up and about at 7-7:30 because there is so much to do and, clearly, I've been falling behind on some of my duties! :) I will have the whole week of the Haiti trip blogged and photos uploaded to Facebook before next week... even with a visit to the baby in there! haha. (if you haven't seen pictures... check out the last blog! I'm an Aunt of 2!!! )

Our church had VBS last week, and as wonderful as it was, I got sick--well a few of us got sick in the preschool department. I thought it was funny that I spent a week with Haitian orphans and children and came back fit as a fiddle, but one week with American preschoolers did me in! :) But, in all seriousness, it was a WONDERFUL week at VBS and I learned so much from the kids and from our time sharing songs and bible stories with them. So grateful that we have time to be a part of important things like this before we leave for Africa! God uses each little thing as a teaching moment for us and we are soaking it all in!

Kathryn is doing great! We get some updates from her on occasion. If you haven't read her blog here is a link: A Servant Life  .  She will be in Haiti for 6 more weeks, and I know God is doing some amazing things through her and the rest of the Praying Pelican team and volunteers serving in Haiti and elsewhere this summer. Continue to pray for health and for beautiful experiences that can shape her life and the lives of those she encounters. We love you Kathryn!! 

Day 2 - Sunday  - June 3, 2012

We all slept pretty well last night. I woke up a lot, worried my fan batteries would run out or that I had been attacked by mosquitoes, but all was well. One of the groups had to be at church at 6am, so we were up at 5am with them...but we still love them.. haha. I got up and read and let Kathryn lay on my mattress for a while so she could stretch out from her ENO hammock position. At about 6:30 every one was getting up and starting to get ready. Brandon and the guys were already dressed and had eaten by the time I got out there to get some bread and peanut butter. The mornings in Haiti are beautiful and the guys were soaking it in on the roof listening to the church service going on next to us that had been at it since 6am and was still going strong! (not to mention there were people flooding out of the doors and sitting outside listening!)

We attended a church in Gressier, where we will be working this week. Cassie, Almondo, and Phito's family attend this church. We actually got to see Cassie and Almondo's house for a quick potty break. She told us that Almondo built most of it! It was wonderful and had a beautiful little garden in the back yard! Just up the mountain was the church, we arrived as Sunday School was ending (all in the same room, even the kids - who were most impressive paying attention the entire time for all 3 hours of the following service!) The church itself was in construction, but where the windows and doors were missing, God replaced them with the most spectacular view and a much needed breeze. It reminded me of Nichole Nordeman's song "Gratitude" in the 2nd verse where she says "A starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead". While they had a roof, it was a breathtaking experience worshiping the Creator in view of His creation.

The Service lasted about 3 hours and it got pretty hot as the morning progressed, but we didn't even look at our watches. Each moment was so Spirit-filled that the hours passed like minutes. How contrary to how we 'do church' (which is the wrong way to think of it...but true). We schedule out our songs and sermons to be sure that we don't go over 45 minutes or our congregations will start getting antsy and probably hop churches if they have to sit there for more than an hour. We as Christians have GOT to get used to praising God with ALL we have, EVERY moment of the day  and ENJOYING it... otherwise, you may want to re-evaluate your eternity, because that is what you will spend it doing if you reach the Pearly Gates. No football, no TV, and no JOBS --- Just singing and praising the Creator of the Universe. It was eye-opening, to say the least. They sang at least 10 different hymns, singing EACH verse and repeating most of them twice. (We grumble when we have to sing all 5 verses and usually end up cutting some out, am I wrong?) There was an amazing point in the service where we literally said "Alleluia" for at least 10 minutes straight. Not changing tone, no music in the background, no showy interludes - just Alleluia. Each time the word left the lips of the church it was sweeter somehow, it was more reverent, it was bleeding with repentance and gratitude and with Love for a God who is ALIVE and who hears us when we praise Him. Just Alleluia. If that wasn't powerful enough, for 3 minutes we 'let our hands praise Him' and in silence we reached up to the sky and channelled our hearts through our fingertips - the emotion in the room was tangible as we reached as high as we could.

The songs were interspersed with beautiful moments of prayer. One of the most unforgettable moments was when the minister asked everyone to pray simultaneously. Each person bowed their head and OUT LOUD began to pour their hearts out to the Father. I prayed as well, but I couldn't help but be in awe of the faithfulness around me. I peeked... and what I saw stays with me and I pray it never leaves. The faces of God's people, unashamedly calling on Him, confessing to Him, asking of Him, thanking Him, and with such fervor. The voices mingled and rose and, I can imagine, were a sweet melody of honesty to our Lord. It sure convicts a 25 year old Christian of 17 years who is still shaky about leading prayer or talking about her faith. If I can't be strong and courageous when speaking to my Heavenly Father... how can I not be terrified when facing the enemy? What beautiful conviction and a challenge to me just from seeing the deep faith of our brothers and sisters. If I could thank them for anything, it would be just that.

It was also communion Sunday. Before uncovering the bread and the wine, the pastor took at least 20 minutes to talk to his church about the importance of the act of taking communion, as well as the severity of partaking of the bread and the wine while still having unconfessed and unrepented sin in your life, or while serving anything in your life more than God and His Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ. He reminded us all that to come to the Lord's table, your heart must be true, must be clean, and must be broken. Because God is the one who cleanses us, who heals our brokenness, and who replaces the darkness of our hearts with light and truth. I evaluated myself and repented of my doubt and lack of faith, for questioning aspects of my life that I know He is in control of, for my attitude and for my lack of sincerity every other time I have eaten the bread and tasted the wine. It was not a just a tradition with little, stale squares of bread and grape juice where we sit in silence with our mouths dry waiting for the Pastor to say, drink this, so we can rinse the taste of fake bread out of our mouths (maybe I'm just talking about me, but I doubt it). The wine and the bread had a very deep meaning and caused me to look inward and see just how incredible Jesus' sacrifice of His body was, and how meaningful His blood was - it served as the new blood covenant between God and His creation, making the way for us to be redeemed from the clutches of sin and bought us back from the possession of the serpent. What have I been thinking about every other time? How can we not see the seriousness of this act of worship? I am so grateful to have been a part of this service!

We got to talk to Cassie on the way back from church about her life and path to becoming a full-time missionary in Haiti. It was extremely helpful and insightful, and reassured us that we don't have to have all the answers, we don't have to be 'brave' and we don't have to know what we're doing... We just have to give our lives to God and let him work through us - because anything we do pales in comparison to the work of the Spirit of God. Thank God! :)  Lunch and then we head to the orphanage from 2-4!

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SO the orphanage was amazing... It started off with an inspiring encounter with the director, Sister Mona. She spoke wonderful english and was so joyful and loving. She told us that she had mentioned to her sister earlier that morning that she wished she could get some flip flops for the kids - and out of the 4 suitcases we brought to Haiti, the one we were bringing to donate to the orphanage was FULL of flipflops (among other things). When we told her that we had brought her at least 50 pairs, she just laugh and with wonderment said "I didn't even pray for that, I just said it to my sister! Isn't God so great! When we live in faith, God can take care of us without even asking Him." Brandon also remembered her saying that she lives a life of complete faith in God for provision, for everything, because it was so much easier to live that way - not having to worry or be burdened. She prayed over us and thanked us for coming, but we all knew that we were the ones who had been blessed by the servant spirit of God's chosen, Ms. Mona.


We were then thrust into a 2 hour play session - Angela was swarmed by overjoyed children as she brought out the stickers and frisbees. She threw me some and you would have thought we were passing out gold! They piled on us, sticking out their hands and saying 'you! Ban Mwen!' meaning, you...give me! We played on the swings, took about a hundred pictures, frisbeed, basketballed, soccered, and see sawed until we couldn't stand up any longer. They were just beautiful, happy children. Aside from them wanting our water, watches, cameras, and rings, they were completely content just hanging on us


and hugging us and playing with us. God's children are found in every country, in every city, in every village and tribe, and in each orphanage. It was liberating to just love them, for the short time we were there, to play with all our might, and to hug with all our hearts. It is no wonder Jesus loved the little children, and as followers of Jesus, it is sure hard not to.  We will continue to pray for Sister Mona and the wonderful work she is doing in the community and in the lives of the children there. We will also pray for the children, that they will continue to live in the way of the Lord after leaving GSO.

For more information on the Good Shepherd Orphanage & School Foundation please visit www.gsohaiti.org. They have many sponsorship programs and ways to give and list a full overview of what they do - which is A LOT. If you're looking for a way to give, consider this in prayer, as Sister Mona is certainly a wonderful steward of this facility and the children in the orphanage as well as in the surrounding neighborhood.





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We got home about 5:30, exhuasted but in a state of  joy. We showered and had some time to rest before dinner and worship. Brandon and I took our malaria medicine and that's where things got hairy... We both ended up throwing up, (remember how I felt sick on Saturday?) Apparently the number 1 side effect of Doxycycline is vomiting - yuck. SO in lieu of feeling sick every day and not being able to eat anything - we decided that faith in God was stronger than any medicine and certainly stronger than any mosquitos! (Thanks be to God that none of us saw more than 2 the entire time we were there!!!) We will be looking into other options and considering what to do when we go to Africa. We didn't have a problem taking the medicine before the trip, but while in Haiti, and out in the sun, the effects got the best of us. One girl took hers at night and didn't feel any of the nausea, but the day she forgot and took it in the morning she threw up... so we can always try to take it at night! we just don't want the sick feeling to get in the way of God's ministry - but we know he can take care of us with the medicine (maybe taking away the vomiting!) or without it (protecting our bodies from malaria in order for us to continue to serve him totally). Our God is an Awesome God... if we have faith in Him, there is nothing that is impossible!

We shared our experiences of the day in worship and enjoyed an evening of singing praises on the roof once again...it was a beautiful end to an incredible day.

Lord, please keep us safe tomorrow so that we may be most effective in working for your kingdom. Keep our attitudes focused on you and your love. Thank you for the understanding of what was making us sick and protect Brandon and I as we try to make the best decision and quit taking the medicine while we are here. Lord, give us strength, courage, and patience. We love you. Thank you for your Son and for giving us the opportunity to serve.  Amen.

(For ALL the many pictures of the kids and the rest of the pics from day 1 and 2 visit the facebook album here: haiti 2012 )

I'm an aunt...of TWO!

SO sorry I haven't updated in a week! Didn't mean to leave you hanging...but THIS happened:

Addison Wells Taulbee - 6.14.12

I am now an Aunt of 2! She is just TOO beautiful... here are some more bragging photos of my sweet little nieces!

me and the sweetest little girls!

Big sister Jordan and Addison

Momma, Jordan and Baby Addison!

It has been a wonderful weekend! I am so thankful to our creator for our new little Addison, and for a healthy sister! They are both home and doing well, and Grandma Marcy is there to help. So blessed!

I will do our Haiti day 2 update later tonight :) Thank you all for being patient!

Sally